My fellow mamas – oh how I need to share my heart with you. God has been laying some truths on my soul, that kind of truths that ruffle feathers and leave you shifting uncomfortably on your seat, but that your heart latches onto and simply wont let you avoid any longer.
I get it ladies: we all want to be the next wonder woman, the poster for super moms everywhere, who are having their cake and baking it from scratch out of organic gluten free ingredients too. Peruse some mommy blogs for a couple hours or a take a virtual stroll around pinterest and you’re bound to get the idea that most of the other moms in this world are not only doing it all, but they are doing it all brilliantly, and looking fantastic while doing it too. Their children are getting their very best, their jobs are somehow also getting their very best, and yet somehow they are also volunteering in their churches and communities, perfectly decorating their homes, hosting amazing parties, and they are keeping themselves fit and well dressed while they do it.
But is any of it true? Have we finally solved the secrets to this elusive virtue of “balance?” Have women just defeated evolution once and for all and found a way to be everything we’ve always wanted?
Or in fact is this one of the biggest cultural myths we’ve continued to perpetuate ultimately because we fear that we really ARE the only ones who are failing? Perhaps we fear that trying to expose the myth may ultimately just expose ourselves as the outsider we really are, and that’s a risk we simply aren’t willing to take?
Who told us that we could do it all? Or more importantly, who told us that we even SHOULD?
If we were truly able to achieve it all, and all on our own, what would draw us outside ourselves into the embrace of community? Isn’t the myth of independence one of the biggest roadblocks to living in community with the people around us? When we believe that not only CAN we do it all on our own, but that we SHOULD, isn’t that the end of “the village” and the beginning of our own isolation? When would we ever have a chance to experience the love of a friend bending down to meet us in our hour of need? When would we feel the intense connection that only comes from walking through a deep valley braced on the shoulders of someone we trust? When we spend our lives as competitors, how can we ever be companions?
Think about it: if the God of the universe, the epitome of total perfection, exists in a triune form – not as a singular being, but as community in and unto himself, three persons in one state of perfect union – why would we ever want to exist outside of community ourselves? Let that set in for a minute, because its a pretty enormous truth, and I know it takes a moment to process. The God who created us in His own perfect image, who embodies perfection and strength and omnipotent power, He exists in a state of COMMUNITY – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – and forever models for us not confident IN-dependence, but perfect INTER-dependence. For even before the world began, God Himself was never alone, but always existed in a communal state, in perfect harmony as three in one – and it was in this image He created us.
We weren’t created to do it all. We weren’t created to BE it all. We were designed for community. We were designed to strengthen each others weaknesses and brace each other where we fail. And Scripture is absolutely rife with verses pointing us to this truth.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! – Psalms 133:1
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another – 1 John 1:7a
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. – Hebrews 10:24-25
Ladies: lets kill the myth once and for all. We can’t do it all, and we just were never designed to. Im flawed, you’re flawed, and its our beautiful brokenness that His mercy and grace shines through. When you share your weaknesses with us, you give us a chance to be the hands of feet of Jesus and come beside you as a tangible extension of His love in your life. When I share my weaknesses with you, I give you a chance to admit your own flaws and lay down the myths that stand between us and a chance at walking this road together. Let’s all let go of this lie of doing it all, and instead embrace the truth that we were made to do it together